When I Grow Up...No, For Real This Time

                                                 Image provided by Shirtaday.com

I THINK I may have finally made it through my mid-life crisis and decided what I want to be when I grow up, again.

My mom just turned 64 years old, and she spent the happiest years of her adult life most recently as a corrections officer in a maximum security mens prison. No shit. I have NO idea why her book isn't more popular on Amazon, seeing as how obsessed America is with prison culture these days, except that maybe she needs to fire her publicist. I'll post the link to her reality-based novel "Razor Wire" in a bit, but right now let's get back to ME, goddamnit.

As some of you may know, I dropped out of the psychology program at the University of Phoenix last year, when I was just shy of getting my associates degree. I was two-thirds of the way done when I had a personal crisis that led to serious flare ups of my two mental disorders, which then ultimately caused my grand midlife crisis, hazzah! Meh, happens to the most awesome of us. My point, though, and Mom's ultimate point in all of this is that I clearly ain't done yet. I still have plenty left to give society, and since all the women in my family are celebrated late bloomers, it's time for me to get focused and get serious.

SO, honest thoughts and gut impressions here....what do you think of Karrie the probation officer, or possibly Karrie the court-ordered substance abuse counselor? Because I think it would be a fabulous fit. It would put me in a position to give REAL help to real people who, just like me, got trapped in the justice system when all they actually need is mental healthcare and/or treatment for addictions. PLUS, the best part of all? I could do it all without the strain of being Ms. Nicey Nice all the fucking time! Lol. I mean, let's be real. Being a proper therapist was NEVER in the cards for me, right? ;-)

Now please, read my Mom's book. Cuz she could totally kick your ass if she wanted to. <3

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17790265-razor-wire

Reality Check: Mental Illness

                                     Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My name is Karrie and I suffer from bipolar 2 and borderline personality disorder. I am tired of having to hide in shame, so I will share this same post, twice a day, until I see some acknowledgement of the ignorance and fear surrounding mental illness and depression in America.

Nothing significant has changed since the tragic suicide of Robin Williams; there has been no productive public discourse or meaningful attempts to raise awareness. People like me- who struggle on a daily basis just to find reasons to not give up- are the ones who get hurt the most by society's refusal to treat mental illness as a medical condition. It is NOT merely a personal weakness or character flaw, and it is not a dirty secret or "private matter" that we should be made to feel ashamed of.

It's also not some flavor of the week cause. A staggering one in three people will face some form of serious depression at least once in their lifetime, and a lot of them won't survive it. It's an ongoing problem, and it's been going on for far too long.

If you are ready to acknowledge this problem, and if you care about the people in your own life who are forced to suffer in silence, please share this status. Thank you.

A Reason To Keep Going

You know guys, when Robin Williams passed, I fell into a deep and dark depression, because I knew EXACTLY why he did it. I still do.

Since then I've realized that if nothing else, I want to see more sunsets and moonrises. I want to have more close encounters with deer, I want to swim in unseasonably warm waters, and goddamnit, I want to see one more U2 show. Not from the cheap seats either, lol.

Even if Bono is 75 and needs a walker to get out onstage, I REFUSE to leave this stinking rock until I've seen one more show! So here's to Bono, and the sun and moon and deer and leaves, but most of all, here's to ME. Blessed Be.

U2 - All I Want Is You & Where The Streets Have No Name (Live From Slane Castle)

Ummm....

image provided by http://www.evangelicaloutreach.org/crucifixion.htm

Dear Everyone on the Internet Who Keeps Posting Memes About Those Damned Murderous Muslims and Jews: Point of reference, Christians brutally killed people who refused to convert all the way up until the 18th century, including women and children, and entire civilizations, and they didn't even do it to defend their territory or right to exist. A couple centuries without institutionalized murder does not a superior religion make. Let's also not forget that the entire religion is based around the brutal torture and murder of one man. So. Just saying. 

Privilege, Prejudice, and the Difference

I am posting this because it's something society as a whole needs to better understand. I am NOT posting it in the spirit of making anyone feel bad for who or what they are. This is something I've addressed before, but in a much more emotional- and therefor provocative- way. I chose to do so then because I wanted honest reactions and feelings, instead of clumsy attempts at political correctness. This time I'm going to spell it out as matter-of-factly as I can instead, but I still hope people will respond as authentically as possible, because that is what makes discussions like this worthwhile.

REG: White and Male Privilege in America.

Before I go any further, it needs to be clearly understood that 1.) Privilege is a product of society, not the individual. 2.) Those who enjoy it in one form or another are usually not even aware that they do, which brings us to 3.) Calling someone privileged is NOT the same thing as calling them a racist, sexist, etc.

Ok, then, here we go.... 

Here's this white girl's basic explanation of what White Privilege is, using "Driving while black" as the main example. To put is as simply as possible, white folks, unless they already have problems with the law and aren't sure if they have current warrants out for them, DON'T need to worry about getting pulled over for made-up reasons. They also don't then have to worry about going to jail for not "acting right". White teenagers typically DON'T have to be taught a long list of very specific rules (always keep both hands on the wheel, make eye contact, say Sir or Ma'am before everything, don't argue that you didn't do anything wrong, even when you didn't, etc.) in order to stay out of jail, just for rolling through a stop sign. That's the simplest example I can give of White Privilege in action, and note that it has everything to do with what white people don't have to worry about, as opposed to any alleged perks we supposedly get. 

Now, Male Privilege also comes down to the things men DON'T typically have to worry about in their day-to-day lives. I'm going to base this one on rape, not to be provocative, but because women actually DO have to worry about it almost constantly. Dudes don't, for example, usually have to worry about how far they park from the mall entrance after dark. They don't have to think twice about going on a solo camping trip, or even about taking a simple walk or jog alone. Dudes don't have to bring other dudes with them to Comic Con, karaoke, or even just to have a simple drink and meal at a pub, because the perception is that any woman doing ANYTHING alone is obviously looking to get laid.

Sadly, when I say these kinds of things, I usually get at least a couple dudes screaming at me about how unfair it is to assume every man is a potential rapists. First of all, that's not what we think. We just know that it's impossible to tell who is and ISN'T a rapist, because they come in all different stripes. Yes, it can be that shady guy in the parking lot who doesn't seem to have a car parked there, but it could also be Ted Bundy (highly educated, articulate, handsome, well-groomed, etc.). To make it all the more frightening and confusing, a good majority of rapes are actually committed by people the victim already knows. Add to that the fact that our own fathers, brothers, and husbands are constantly warning us not to do any of those things I mentioned alone, and there you have it. Note that once again, the privilege lies in what men DON'T have to worry about, not in the advantages that they do enjoy.

In summary, though sometimes they do go hand-in-hand, privilege and prejudice are actually two entirely different things. I CAN talk about Male Privilege and acknowledge its existsence without being a man-hater, a lesbian, etc. I can also talk about White Privilege without being a bigot or a racist. If we could just hammer out and establish that much, we could get a LOT more accomplished.

An Easy Fix

Dear Sane and Rational Americans:

Please, I implore you to listen to me and let this really soak in, because I am bordering on genuinely fucking terrified now. DEMOCRACY IS NOT DEAD, and that kind of "throw the baby out with the bathwater" mentality is exactly what is causing all  these recent outbreaks of politically motivated violence!

The only thing that is terribly wrong with our democratic process is the fact that our elected officials are completely dependent on special interest money to get into office, and once they are there, they are then beholden to those donors for the duration of their careers. BUT THIS IS AN EASY FIX! All we have to do is overturn Citizens United, and start transitioning into a publicly funded electoral process. We The People still have all the power! it just doesn't feel like it anymore, because we have allowed a radical MINORITY to hijack our system and protect the status quo. This is also an easy fix, though. We just need more sane and rational people to get off their asses and get to the polls, to vote out the people who have caused this.

So please, I am begging you now, shrug off your frustrations and disillusionment, and let's take back the power that is rightfully ours in this year's midterm elections! Thank you.

Writers Are People Too!

I posted this yesterday on G+, and was rightfully chastised for my combative tone. l strive for authenticity, though, and as a member of the human race, sometimes I feel hurt and rejected, and sometimes I get angry about it. It is for that reason that I am using the original post, as a forward to my more reasoned thoughts on the matter.

Shared by me yesterday:

"OK, so maybe I've lost my audience, here on the oh-so-intellectual G+, by talking about ghosts, John Cusack, and such. That's a shame.

Did it ever occur to anyone, though, that the reason the "cool" smart people aren't on G+ is because it's filled with entirely too many smart people with big old sticks up their arses? Ya know who Tweets? Neil Degrasse Tyson. Bill Nye. Doctor Sheldon Cooper, for fuck's sake. No really. The character has a verified Twitter account, and I have seen more profound and thoughtful shit in 140 characters out of him than I have seen for entire six month stretches here. Lol.

I jest, but my point is, I miss having real, thought-provoking discussions here. Can't we just make up, and agree that "smart" can come in more than one package?"

As I have already said, I realize the above post aims for conflict. However, the fact that someone instinctively felt the need to critique it, and then to remind me that when one changes their "brand" to cater to a different audience, they lose favor with their original one, only serves to prove my overall point....

Social media, to my mind, is first and foremost a social experience. I do not subscribe to the notion that just because one is a writer, he/she is obligated to make every post a complete and polished piece, or to speak only in his or her writing voice. That methodology only serves to separate us, by establishing rigid roles for writer and reader alike. It can be likened to actors who never stop acting, but instead play character versions of themselves, forever reminding the fans that they are not on the same level and never will be. For very famous actors, the practice is an unfortunate necessity for safety and security reasons. For the rest of us, though, there is no practical need for such reinforced boundaries.

It really comes down to personal authenticity for me, and the freedom to embrace it "off the clock", if one chooses to do so. If you actually know me and read any of my published pieces, you can easily recognize the difference between my normal voice and my writing voice, and even those very famous authors who need to establish and maintain a certain level of social distance don't go around speaking in rich and detailed word pictures every time they open their mouths in public. Being writers should never force us to never clock out, just because the world can read what we post. The public is actually quite capable of telling the difference between real writing and personal thoughts. No one is going to stop reading Stephen King just because he (hypothetically) Tweeted about a ball game, or Ezra Klein because he posted a status update from a Lady Gaga concert.

This brings us to content, which is the core of my problem here on G+. My professional writing tends to focus on social observation and problem solving, because that is what I feel is important. Although I could attract a much larger and more loyal fanbase writing professionally about what makes celebrities tick, or even about paranormal theory, I don't, because those things are just hobbies to me. Does that mean I am not allowed to ever talk about them on the Internet? No, because social media is actually social time for me most of the time, and my social media friends are just that- friends. I do not feel I should be punished for not using the web strictly as a self-promotion tool, nor should I be judged for being interested in things that others may find silly.

I realize I have not taken human nature into account, and that people WILL judge me, whether I deserve it or not. I also acknowledge that there are just some subjects that simply do not mix, which is why I have thought about using different pen names for each. In the end I am making a choice, though, and my choice is to refuse to be defined by traditional expectations.